I have sat and pondered about typing this post I have typed and erased and haven't quite figured out how I can type this so it comes out of my head and across how I want it too... I have many emotions towards this subject and pray people understand me. I went through a devastating time in my life a couple weeks ago and I think I was at the lowest time in my life I have ever felt... I am in the healing process and trying to overcome this great challenge and I keep being prompted to share my story I've ignored it thinking it would go away but while in testimony meeting today at church the spirit was so strong my chest was pounding and my eyes filled up with tears I knew it was time to share and get it off my shoulders and that there might be someone out there who is dealing with this or who might deal with this in the future and they need to know... I know some people might think I shouldn't be posting about this but this is for me and something I need to do for myself so to you please be understanding and don't judge my journey. On April 20, 2015 while at cosmetology school I was going on with life just like any other day I had done a color and cut and was just cleaning up and getting ready for lunch.. When I was about to head out I was told a man had came in and wanted a straight razor shave with out hesitation I said ok and got my stuff set up... (just a little side note almost lunch time everyone is leaving and the shave takes place in the back of the lab) I went and greeted this man. I instantly felt uncomfortable but ignored thinking I was just a newlywed and worried about being alone with other men. I look back and my heart aches I didn't look at every red flag ... a few other flags took place while working on the client consultation I still just thought be strong marlie nothing is going to happen... While doing the service my client then began to start to man handle me and touch me in appropriately he said very offensive things to me and tried looking in places that are sacred parts of my body. After many times of this happening I was able to stop in the middle of the service and get away I told him he was done and needed to go pay he gave me his name and number and said he wanted to do it all again... I have never felt so low in my life... I haven't ever really had the greatest self confidence but this day I felt worthless... Some man had just shredded my to pieces... I was dirty... I disappointed my savior... My Husband... My family..my reputation was GONE!!! I never though someone would take advantage of me and do something so harmful to me. I never thought this really happened to people whenever you hear about it you brush it off like no big deal. I want people to be aware and alert that even in small town Brigham city in a little cosmetology school IT HAPPENED... I was sexually assaulted... I wish I would have been prepared... but I am eternally grateful I am worthy and intune with the spirit because of the spirit and the gospel I am in the healing process... I obviously am no English major or author so this has no proper story line and jumps back and forth... One thing that told me heavenly father cared is while doing the service I had my phone faced up laying on the table by me while doing the service my dear friend had the prompting to text me to say just wanted to know how your are doing... I know it was no coincidence that she decided to text me at that time she knew I needed to know someone was there at that time. I called ej as soon as it happened and it seemed like within 5 minutes he was already there to hold me next to him and comfort me... We did all the police reports ( Brigham city has an amazing department FYI) I am thankful for there hardwork in finding this guy and making sure I felt safe! Ej then brought me home to where I felt safe his amazing company he works for let him take work off a couple nights cause he knew I wouldn't be ok to be left alone for awhile... I felt overwhelmed with love as family called, messaged me, or came and visited bringing flowers and treats and even cooking dinner for us. That night my dad and ej were able to give me a blessing of comfort I have never so strongly felt something lifted off my shoulders. I am thankful for great men who honor their priesthood. The first few nights I would wake up in tears from having nightmares and replaying that awful moment ej would say a prayer with me and hold me in his arms telling me it would be ok and he was always gonna be by my side protecting me. He easily could have just went back to bed but he chose to be awake all hours of the night to make sure I was ok! That next day I came acrossed a song that I love by calee reed called where can "I turn to peace/ be still my soul" Its not like I didn't know where to turn but this song reminded me who could really heal my wounded heart! After a few days I finally felt I had a purpose, I knew I was clean, I knew god loved me... That next sunday our lesson in relief society was on the sacrament and it hit me so hard I had never been so grateful to take the sacrament I knew I was forgiven and made whole again. I was comforted knowing that the savior has been through this same terrible experience as me because he died for me and suffered for each of us. I knew I had guardian angels with me protecting me where ever I went.. The gospel is amazing and through it I will overcome this trial. I didn't think I would ever be thankful for it but it truly has made me stronger and strengthend me and gave me a whole new testimony of the gospel! besides how it has helped me I want it to help you! I want you all to know how important you are ... You have worth no matter what anyone say or does to you. Don't let anyone hurt you because you don't dare leave or walk away from the situation! BE STRONG don't let people make you feel weak! We are capable to do anything! I hope this all makes a little bit of sense between wiping the tears and trying to get everything out I wanted I don't know if I did a very good job I hope that this might help some one and I pray no one else will ever have to go through something like this and if they do I hope they are aware of what to do in the situation! Thanks for letting me share my story I would like you all to listen to this amazing song I referred to above you will love it!!!
